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Releasing Negativity

A Negative Start

Getting divorce is not easy, especially emotionally. In fact, in getting a divorce, you may be plagued with unanswered questions, feelings of guilt and even feelings of anger. You might wonder how someone you loved could now turn into someone you wish you had never met in the first place. It is just so hard to believe that after the sparks and the fireworks display, you now face a burned-down house of what used to be your relationship.

Then reality seeps through and anger closes in. Your thoughts begin to rage with questions like: how did this ever happen? How dare this person turn your life upside down and inside out with the promise of happiness and love that would endure for the rest of your lives together! Why did you ever let this person trick you and trap you into this marriage! This should never, ever, have happened; but it did. And you decided enough is enough and have filed for a divorce. And thatís the end of the nightmareódone.

Actually, divorce is fairly easy, but itís the getting-it-over part that is hard. You may have thought that because you now hate this person, it would mean that it would be easier to get on with your life. But in reality, this is the part of the break-up when you are most vulnerable and you start questioning your self-worth. It is not uncommon that you will find yourself angry, frustrated, depressed, hopeless, regretful and embittered. It is forgivable to feel negative and miserable and releasing all those negative emotions, as they inevitably will help you recover from the divorce.

Ways to Release Negativity

You may want to talk to and be with your family and friends as much as you can in order to get their sympathy and understanding of your ordeal. They are very effective soundboards and sometimes just talking to them helps to prevent you from exploding with all the pent up emotions inside.

Seeking help and understanding from other people apart from your family and friends will also help you deal with your negative feelings. There are many post-divorce support groups with members going through the same emotions as yours. You may also consider talking to a counsellor, a minister, or priest whom you trust to help you out.

Keeping a daily journal can also help relieve you of painful and destructive emotions. Writing is just as effective as talking to someone else, and very private. There are some things you may want to admit to yourself without necessarily having to share it with someone else. With a daily journal, you track your progress.

Release negativity by affirmations, acknowledging all the negative emotions you are undergoing. But the tricky part is stopping when it gets to be overwhelming. Sometimes, we tend to fall into the pit and keep on digging deeper. Remember to keep a check on your overall emotional health.

Remember to look after yourself. It does not follow that just because you are suffering emotionally you also have to suffer physically. Relieving oneself of pain doesnít have to be unpleasant all the time. Pamper yourself and do all the things youíve missed doing.

Recovery period from divorce will differ from person to person, so take it slowly and be patient with yourself. Just keep guard of the feelings associated with relatively unfavourable situations, as these may trigger those negative feelings. For instance, seeing a happy couple could make you feel disgusted or even discouraged. You can start by keeping away from such circumstances to at least lessen your pain and then try exposing yourself slowly until you can develop and train yourself to react gracefully to every situation.

End Goal

By deciding to file for a divorce, you have already decided that you want to be happy and take control of your life. There will be many trials, hardships and pain along the way, but to help you on your way to recovery, try to keep yourself positive. Later on, your increased self-esteem and confidence will take over the negative feelings, and soon you will realize that you have moved on - and that this chapter of your life has finally ended.

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