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Can You Save Your Marriage?
Are you experiencing relationship difficulties? Have you reached a point in your marriage that seems like all is lost? Are you afraid that there is no hope left for your relationship? You’re not alone; in fact many couples experience difficulties in their relationships for a variety of reasons. Yet, no matter what the reason for the difficulties in your marriage, there is hope and such problems can be overcome!
The first step in saving a marriage that is in danger of falling apart is to determine whether or not both partners within the marriage possess a mutual desire to save the marriage. If one partner wants to maintain and work on the marriage while another partner elects not do, all of the work and effort that is put into making the relationship work will ultimately come to naught. Thus, a mutual desire on behalf of both partners to remain in the relationship must exist.
The second step in repairing the damage in any relationship is to determine the cause of the problem in the first place. Sometimes the problem is screamingly clear like when one or both partners engage in extramarital affairs, while other times the reason for problems may not appear so obvious; perhaps you are experiencing a sense of alienation from your spouse because you no longer spend time together the way you used to when you first met. Thus, in clearly defining the problem, it will become easier to focus on possible solutions and to repair your marriage.
Once you have defined the problem, it comes time to look at possible solutions. Further, the seriousness of the existing problem in your marriage will directly parallel the amount of effort it will take to save your marriage. For example, in the case of a slowly distancing relationship, couples can slowly work on rebuilding the intimacy shared in the relationship while in the case of an extramarital affair it may take a significant amount of time to overcome the sense of betrayal each of the partners may feel.
Changing the way you think about your current relationship with your spouse can make a tremendous difference in your relationship. For instance, instead of dwelling on the current problems that may exist within your marriage: why not reflect on how your relationship was before all your problems began? Think about what it was like when you and your partner first met and you fell in love with one another. Do you remember how being in love made you feel? Do you remember being willing to go above and beyond what was necessary to please and satisfy your partner? Once you recall the niceties that you used to implement in your relationship, you can once again employ such behaviors and in doing so, you can begin to repair your marriage.
Finally, a positive attitude is imperative if you desire to save your marriage. Thus, if you truly want to rescue your relationship and save it from falling completely apart or resulting in divorce, you will have to be willing to let go of any feelings of resentment or bitterness you feel toward your partner. Such a task may not be easy, especially if your partner has had an affair; nevertheless, by not letting go of the resentment you may presently feel, you are already setting your relationship up to fail. Therefore, in a sincere effort to save your marriage, be sure to set aside any negative emotions you may have and focus on being positive by looking to the future and the potential of renewal that your relationship holds.