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Learning To Trust After Your Divorce
To psychiatrists, getting divorced is considered one of the three most stressful things that can happen in your life. After all, how can one easily learn to trust in another relationship when the previous one failed so miserably? Nevertheless, life must go on, and if you wish to avoid a life of painful memories and regrets you are going to need to learn to trust again after your divorce. To help you, here are eight things you should be considering:
Time is a great healer
Cliché as it sounds, time is a great healer and divorce is very much emotionally akin to the suffering we feel when we have experienced a deep personal loss. Given time you will learn to like someone again and you will learn to trust them.
Don’t rush things
Although you may be tempted into trying to find that special person you trust, don’t be. Take things at your own pace and give yourself time to breath and consider your options.
Face up to the facts
Sometimes we try to overcome the grief we feel when people let us down by ignoring that the event ever happened. Ignoring the fact that you don’t trust people will not solve your trust issues, nor will it cure them. In order to learn to trust again after your divorce you need to face up to the fact that trusting people is a real issue for you. Once you have done this successfully, you’ll have taken a major step forward.
Strange as it may seem, you cannot be expected to trust someone else if you do not trust yourself! However, it is a common feeling among recent divorcees to blame themselves for the failure of their marriage–to question what they did wrong. Even though you may be feeling these emotions yourself, you do need to accept that you may have done absolutely nothing wrong and trust your own judgment.
People are inherently good
Another common feeling recent divorcees have is a belief that all prospective boyfriends and girlfriends are inherently bad and liars! In fact, more often than not, this is opposite of the truth and most people are inherently good!
Join a counselling group
If you are having troubles trusting again after your divorce you may want to consider joining a counselling group with whom you can talking through similar feelings. Keep in mind the adage that ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so if you can talk things through with people who are having similar doubts this will help aid in your recovery.
Join new social groups
When we are married we tend to do things as couples. Alone again and things become more difficult, as once again we are single. Why not look at this as the chance of a life time and join new social groups and meet new friends. In time, this will help you to learn to trust again.
Talk about your doubts
Don’t let the fact that your previous relationship broke down be the reason why a future relationship breaks down. If you are having trust issues in a new friendship or relationship, talk these through with your new friend or partner. Explain to them why you are having the trust issues you are and explain your feelings to them. You may be surprised and find that your new friend or partner actually understands what you are going through!
It is going to be impossible to move on with your life after a divorce if you cannot trust anyone again. Trust is an essential element to any healthy relationship. Trust means you know you care for someone, and that they care for you. So make sure you have a healthy loving relationship in the future by learning to trust again after your divorce.