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Getting Ready For Your First Date Post Divorce

You’ve just lost the love of your life, or got out of a really bad situation. You’ve spent the last, what seems like forever, in solitude and suffering. You’ve been punishing yourself for an unending stream of real and imaginary sins. Now you’ve finally decided to move on. The bell of survival in your head has tolled at last. You’re ready to get back onto the dating wheel. In fact, you’re itching for a spin.

The how’s and why’s of the once familiar game will come flooding back into your memory. Bitter sweet experiences fill the space inside your mind with longing and trepidation. As much fun as dating may have been in the past, you know that the recent changes in your social life are bound to have an impact on your ability to date again. Uppermost in your mind would be the feelings of low self-esteem and fear of failure. The thought of another rejection or bad returns on an investment of time and affection can keep anyone underground forever.

Once you’ve got over all these hurdles and are ready to plunge into the pool of dinners and movies, and nervous front-door goodbyes, it can only get better. Therefore, there’s no need to rush. Take things slowly and surely. The last thing you need right now is a hasty decision with bad results. Such a catastrophe at this stage can set you back a long way. Don’t get pushed into dating someone you would otherwise rather not spend time with. Reconnect with old friends, even make some new ones. Get involved with activities that allow you to meet people. This will make it easier to choose both the timing and the person for your first date. Take your time. You don’t want to come off needy and desperate. Let the other person get to know you for who you are and you may want to consider getting involved in activities that bring out the fun side of you.

That first date is the most difficult. Everything else after that is on easy street. The first date brings with it the possibility of committing every horrifying dating faux pas possible. The only solution to this is to be prepared. Tell yourself that you’re going to have a good time. Spend some time dressing up for the date. Looking good is an important step to feeling good. Do a small background check on the person you are dating. Find out what makes them tick. You will feel more confident if you know a little bit more about your date. It’s just like going in for a business meeting.

Ensure that your date is at a location that makes you feel comfortable. Avoid going to places that bring back awkward memories. This will only sour your mood and spoil your date. Similarly, don’t go out on a date to a place that has significance from your previous marriage. It is important to start afresh. Leave the excess baggage at home. This will free you up and allow you to give your all to this date. Being one hundred percent present can only be a bonus.

Remember, dating is, and should be fun! The rush of that first contact, the experience of meeting different people from different walks of life; just adds a large splash of colour to our lives. It’s not an occasion to find a shoulder to cry on, or a sympathetic year to complain into. You need to ensure that you’re as good a date as you would expect the other person to be. After all, everyone should be able to enjoy their life. Divorce should not change the person you are inside.